Theorising the Politics of Self-Care

Loving yourself as a black woman is a radical act. An intentional process. No doubt, a process which is always ongoing. This act involves the continuous movement against the institutionalised grain of Eurocentric representations of beauty within the media. More beautifully however, this is a movement towards the hidden voices of black bodies along history’s course. With every conjured word, a sense of comfort and belonging is found residing within their voices. An understanding of our shared realities which convey experiences of pain, love, loss, joy and the diverse complexities which exist in being a human being. Ultimately, loving yourself as a black woman is a process of understanding one’s self and understanding blackness.

Audre Lorde discusses the importance of politicising self-care within Feminist spaces describing this to be a radical tool for political contestation. By Including the politics of self care in feminist spaces, the experiences of black women are ‘acclaimed validation’, their bodies humanised and their experiences brought to life through the power of the narrative. In these words dug from history’s bones, the sense of resilience found here poses a challenge to the hopelessness faced through the daily struggles of our everyday lives. Politicising self care can be read as a tool to decolonizing knowledge. A subversive approach to challenging ‘mainstream’ discourses which often exclude and misrepresent the emotional, mental and physical well being of black bodies.

It is important however that one does not mistake self-care for self indulgence or see it as an act of selfishness. Narcism, as Audre Lorde explains, is not a reflection of self-love but rather a projection of self-hatred. The call to love oneself and practice self care is one which should be seen as leading to the expansion of empathy, and developing a deeper understanding of the humanity in your neighbour. Ultimately, self care and community care are processes which increase in turn. With the identification to blackness as a culture and a form of identity, self love and self care become the most profound acts of revolution. If we’re talking inclusivity and Intersectionality, let us begin by creating a space which acknowledges the importance of tending to the well being of black women and other marginalised groups of people in our communities.

One of my most profound moments of 2016 was being in a lecture where the incredible Dr Grada Kilomba brought me to tears. I remember leaving the lecture hall unable to discuss the experience with my fellow course mates both out of being at a loss for words, and out of the need to process the experience. I was conflicted by the grace and peace she projected while talking so profoundly about the violence involved in the process of being. In her Performance Lecture, Dr Kilomba explored the performativity in being a ‘normal’ black woman. This normality she described is loaded with erasures of one’s own blackness as one’s reality is policed within daily encounters shaped by whiteness. She explored the intersectional challenges of being a black woman, discussing hair politics, as well as the all too often asked question, “where are you really from?” This, a code for- you’re black so you can’t truly be European. Dr Kilomba used a theatre style performance to draw a bridge between academia and art, engaging with the emotions as well as the intellect of her audience. Through this merging of academic work and theatrical performances, a field which is often alienating, especially for marginalised groups felt humanised. Discussions on race and gender were relatable, and in that moment, I could feel the discomfort of the subjected ‘other’, as well as witness the ways in which power structures are played out during day to day interactions.

In recognising that Black women and Black women bodies have been political sites of contestation both within African liberation movements and feminist spaces, calling for the politicisation of self-care is also a political act in the message it communicates to patriarchal and racist systems. In order to be gentle with each other while maintaining an approach that won’t be easily compromised within hostile environments, the mental, emotional and physical well being of women should be a key concern. As Black women, we have too often been required to speak everyone else’s position but our own. By centralising the politics of self-care within intersectional feminist approaches, we can also hope to spark conversations which challenge victim blaming narratives, where women who vocalise their experiences of abuse are shamed and deemed responsible for their experiences and trauma. By creating room for discussions on self care, there can only be a wider space for empathy.

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