The personal is the political

Often times as Black women, we are expected to have a higher emotional tolerance and are held to a standard which our white counterparts are not, when it comes to issues affecting us. We are often explicitly and implicitly told to conceal our emotions when those topics come up in conversation. We are reminded that ‘objectivity,’ is key in order to efficiently sell our oppression and make it palatable to those who are uncomfortable with the topic, not the existence of the oppression. We are also told to place our experiences of gendered and racialised oppression on a hierarchy; which one’s worse?

An incident that sticks out in my memory was an altercation I had with a white guy in my course. Now this man was quite clearly uncomfortable with me discussing race in class and he decided to play ‘devil’s advocate’, the exchange that followed quickly became heated because I was frustrated by this man’s clear display of privilege and a refusal to understand. I was then consequently told to ‘calm down,’ and maybe I ‘shouldn’t get so deeply emotionally involved,’ also my personal favourite ‘you need to learn to take other people’s views into consideration.’ Now, I can imagine this situation is one which many of you reading this, are all too familiar with. That feeling of helplessness and exasperation, trying to remain focused on the task of ‘convincing,’ someone that your oppression is real. You place upon yourself the task of trying to keep it together and remain emotionally detached when quite frankly your humanity and existence are being challenged.

After this experience, I did some soul searching and set out a plan of action, which I believe will be helpful to those of you questioning yourselves:

Firstly, under no circumstances should you attempt to justify your oppression. It is not an illusion, neither is it just simply paranoia because you are living it. Secondly, speak as loudly and passionately as you please. Don’t let those trying to police your emotions silence you – their discomfort is not your priority. Realise that you will probably lose ‘friends’ but you will gain a stronger sense of identity and self-awareness. Be ready to face ‘devil’s advocates’ that also experience oppression, such as Black men who try to shame you for raising issues surrounding gender – don’t be fooled, you are not the spokesperson for the Black community and neither are you betraying anyone.

Most importantly reconcile with the fact that by default, your existence as a Black Woman is one that is inherently political. There are too many complex nuances that exist in that intersect of identity, which can’t be boiled down to distinct categories and that gets further complicated when sexuality, disability, religion and more are added to the mix. We exist as multifaceted individuals and that is perfectly ok.

#mysoginoir #oppression #black #race #sexism